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Airports were never built to make travel easier for the public. A psychologist named Brian Brain who was writing a paper on behavioural understanding phoned his mate Bob the Builder and asked him if he had any spare bricks and mortar. When Bob said yes Brian said lets build a place where people can ride on aeroplanes, I can watch how they behave, write a book about it, you can make a few bob from the car parks and well both make a fortune from the...
62) Am I Zen Yet?
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Description
Andy Williams. Yoga. Twitter. Costco.
What do these things have in common?
Well, at one time or another, I blogged something about each of them. As a writer, you are often told to write what you know. This should tell you a lot about how glamorous and exciting this writer's life is.
I've put together a number of short essays on these and other fascinating subjects, most of them previously published on one of my blogs, and am offering them as a...
63) Biker Smarts
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Description
The book is a compilation of humorous short statements, light-hearted "insults", funny tirades, and silly, bi-partisan, outlandish non-offensive political bantering that that captures fun times and memorializes many years of memories while hanging out with my biker friends at biker bars and biker events. It is a light-hearted book intended to be fun reading for a very diverse audience who just want something fun, funny and mindless to read without...
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It's impossible to go a full day without using snark, so why fight it? Snark is everywhere, from television to movies to everyday life. This lively collection provides hours of entertainment-better than an Etch A Sketch, and more fun than Silly Putty! At the heart of it, being in a state of snark can be one of the most useful tools at one's disposal and hence (yes, I used "hence"), a powerful way to get what you want. With snark, you can catch people...
65) Dating Your Mom
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From the opening essay, "The Bloomsbury Group Live at the Apollo (Liner Notes from the New Best-Selling Album)" to the title piece that discusses ways in which you might begin a romance with your mother ("In today's fast-moving, transient, rootless society, where people meet and make love and part without ever really touching, the relationship every guy already has with his own mother is too valuable to ignore...") to a parody that features Samuel...
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Join the Carmitchell sisters on an unexpectedly funny and fearlessly frank journey through the 78 cards in the tarot deck.
Annie Carmitchell had long used her tarot decks as a tool for spiritual guidance. During one of many late-night chats with her sister, it occurred to Annie that almost every shared memory reminded her of a particular tarot card. Her father? The Emperor. Her mother? Most certainly the Queen. And though, her sister might take a...
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"Greetings, Dear Homsaps" is a highly satirical look at the conditions on planet Earth in the years prior to, during, and just after TBC, or The Big Change.
Climate variations bring many disasters but also some fortuitous changes, proving how adaptable the species Homo Sapiens is.
The Galactic Federation of Lightworkers is heavily invested in a beneficent future for Earth. They see clearly how badly the planet's being run by a corrupt ruling elite...
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Are you worried sick? If not, maybe you should be. Because a pair of drawstring sweatpants could bring about your most embarrassing moment. And, a toothpick in your sandwich can be the deadliest of weapons. Including hundreds of bizarre-but-true things that can get you, this compact volume will induce nervous page flipping and make even the most snug and secure folks bona fide paranoiacs. Chilling black and white photographs document the everyday...
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Did you ever wonder why your body works the way it does? Or doesn't? Sometimes it seems like things could have been organized a little more happily. Michael Scherperel's light-hearted set of 21 essays on possible design problems with the human body, Homo Sapiens - Obsolescens?, will take you on a journey from head to toe--well, not quite that far, but pretty close--examining some of the quirks of human construction.
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From the writer who brought you a social worker who solves murders (Death in Sioux Lookout) and a psychiatrist who turns into a gorilla to solve a case (The Love Duology) comes another completely original work. In the early eighties a young social worker named Richard Schwindt decided to do something never done before (or since) and satirize his profession. For ten years, writing in OAPSW Newsmagazine Schwindt regaled and horrified colleagues with...
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From night-driving over the Sierra Nevada mountains in a torrential rainstorm to water trough repairs that go alarmingly awry, from cowboys hooked on soap operas to livestock miscalculations that wind up on national television, Dave Stamey, singer-songwriter, humorist and curmudgeon-in-training, offers a collection of stories, essays and observations about surviving in today's rural American West.
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Description
Dancing in My Underwear
Little Writer in the Big House
Stand Up, Sit Down, Kneel, Repent
A Pyramid Scheme
Surely Shirley
The Hoe Must Go On!
Singing for Obama
1-800-Rent-A-Puppy
That's So Not Cute
Legends of the Jennifer Lawrence Fall
Cheating on the German Test
GUNS
Let's Go to the Movies!
It's a Small, Small, Small, Small World
The Ernesto Manifesto
Adventures of a Panamániac
The One Kylie
I Still Call Australia Hoime
Hearts &...
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Description
Is Wilber Winkle a consumer advocate extraordinaire or just a nut with too much time on his hands? Whatever the verdict, this hilarious collection of complaint letters to American corporations and their responses are a laugh-aloud page-turner. Readers everywhere will recognize the beefs that Wilber strives to get to the bottom of: Denny's waitresses disturbing the delicate balance of cream and sugar in their coffee, the disappearance of the almond...
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Comedian-author Charlie Demers, whose brain-bending brand of black humour will be familiar to followers of CBC Radio's The Debaters, offers his madcap perspective in a new collection of essays highlighting a wide range of topics under the heading of Bad Things. The Horrors is presented abecedarian-style, despoiling a beloved children's book tradition in order to explore personal hangups that range from the slightly awkward to the down-right terrible....
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Arguably the funniest novel to emerge from Northern Europe since the Black Death.
A reindeer strangler has struck again; the world's leading authority on Baltic sturgeon has been filleted, and the head of Sweden's only unpublished thriller writer has been discovered some meters from his body. Just a typical day in Stockholm's crime log? Or are the murders the works of a single killer? Chief Inspector Svenjamin Bubbles has a suspect: Lizzy Salamander,...
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Description
For more than six decades, John Gould charmed readers of the Christian Science Monitor with his regular column Dispatches from the Farm," in which he extolled the virtues of Maine life. Gathered here are fifty favorites from among his "dispatches," comprising a wholesome potpourri of Yankee wit. With its zany variety, native flavor, and good-natured needling, this collection will warm the hearts of both Down Easters and folks from away.
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Description
Traditionally, women share their secrets with their hairdressers. But what about their manicurists, masseurs, chi gong teachers, and tattoo artists? In Damage Control, women wax poetic about the experts and gurus who help them love themselves, sharing stories of everything from friendships born in the make-up chair to the utter dismay of a truly horrible haircut. Minnie Driver finally meets a Frenchman who understands her hair . . . and tries to teach...
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Description
Un caballero pide el tocho más pesado (literalmente) que aflija las estanterías, otro necesita adquirir cincuenta y dos metros de lomos más o menos vistosos y un tercero quiere leer la edición débil de cierta obra. Una dama sospecha que las novelas de Dickens fueron escritas por su hermana Charlene, otra busca libros de color verde y una tercera pregunta por relatos donde Robin Hood no robe a los ricos. Demencias como éstas (e incluso más dementes)...
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